Finding the one

We all have that goal in life to finding the one. We know that person is out there but where? Sometimes that person is right in front of us. I met the one when I was at a technical school in Florida and I didn't know it at the time. So one year later I'm still with that person. Sometimes it takes us a while to figure out that what we want is not always there for us. We as humans must put aside our notions that the perfect person is out there. Not every one is perfect. We can help them be their full potential but at the end of the day we must make our standers not work against us. So when is it OK to let people know what we want out of a relationship? On a dating site maybe? Or how about when you are talking to your friends? Either way you have to make sure that you found the right one other wise you might be in trouble. So here is a quick story for you all. 54 years ago my grandparents met at work my grandmother wanted nothing to do with my grandfather. So she had coffee with him once and she still didn't fall in love with him. So 54 years later they are still married. I am the second oldest out of 5 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild. They have 3 daughters also. So you see even when you don't like that person at first they may end up being the one for you. Never give up on finding that one person that makes you feel good about yourself. I found the one and I know he did to. So good luck to finding the one.

Challenge of the day: Don't give up on love
Question of the day: Do you think the one is out there?  

Stress

When stress enters our lives we know or don't know how to handle it. We feel like we are falling out of the sky and we don't know how we are going to land. We think we might fall on our faces and we might not be able to get back up by ourselves. When we get stressed out we find ourselves in a world where we don't know if we will get over the stress. So what do we do in the mean time? Some of us drink, smoke, whatever. I talk to my boyfriend because I know he will make me feel better about whatever is bothering me at the time and then I cry I feel better then to. Naps are good as well. They say that if you have a pet your stress levels will go down because they greet you at the door and they make sure that you are OK. I have also tried reading a book when I am stressed and it does work because your mind gets into the book. I have heard that when you meditate you start to feel better about your world. So when can you say enough is enough to all the stress that hurts you in life? I think that a little stress is good but sometimes that little stress becomes to big to handle on your own and you need help trying to figure out how to handle it. So can you trust some one to help you with all of the stress? I'm sure there is some on who is trust worthy but you never know what that person might say to other people. I write how I feel in a journal and it goes away. So don't let stress get the better of you in this life.

Challenge of the day: How do you handle stress?
Question of the day: Can stress be good or bad?

Finding wisdom

Finding wisdom can be a very hard thing to do when we don't know where to look. For the fun of it I'm reading a text book about wisdom that I got from a school I went to. I am on chapter four right now and I've learned a lot of words that are new to me. But in this book it explains how we as humans are trying to find ourselves in this world. Is it possible that we go to these self-help books to gain more wisdom about ourselves or our lives? Is it possible that we are trying to balance both on one foot in this rat race as we like to call it. I have also read books from a Native American point of view and I loved it because it taught me how I need to be at peace with the world around me. They as say you grow older you gain more wisdom. I think it's because we want to continue to learn about things that are happening around us day-to-day. So can we gain wisdom as we grow older? Maybe we can. I would like to think that if we keep our minds sharp and educated we will. But if we don't we will lose what we have learned about life and it's history. Maybe we need to all stop and clear our minds from the bad stuff and let the good stuff in. Maybe there should be a day were every one types up as many letters as they can to people and then burn them. Wisdom comes from experience not by how you make a change in life. I have found that people who have wisdom know a lot about life because they saw many things happen in their life time. I try to talk to my grandparents as much as possible about what they think about the world today. If they don't share it how are we supposed to teach our children? So when I say finding wisdom find a person who as seen it all and share it with others.

Challenge of the day: Read about history and share it with others
Question of the day: Do you think wisdom is a good or bad thing?

Meditation

Meditation is a wonderful thing that helps people find their balance in this crazy world. I have heard that if you meditate at least once a day you will start to feel better about the world around you. Do I think this is true? I think it is. I have tried it once or twice but I never stuck to it. I think if you stick to it then you will notice a difference within yourself. But are there people out there would would sit in a quiet room for an hour maybe longer and meditate? What if your nose starts to itch? Can you move without some one giving you a dirty look? What if you have to go to the bathroom? You would think that it would be hard to do because you would or might get stiff in the knees or legs. I would have the urge to move just so my knees won't get stiff. Health wise I'm sure it helps bring stress levels down a lot. And it helps babies go to sleep during the day. Right now I'm listening to a 26 minute meditation music and I am typing this blog. So maybe it does help but only if you are doing something that makes you stop and think. I would love to be able to sit in a room and not be bothered by people and meditate all day. Or maybe half the day. I don't know. So what is it about mediation that is so great? Was it ever a craze? Is it in as the media calls it? Is it possible for some one like you or me to sit for an hour and just turn our phones off and clear our minds and let the stress melt off of us? I don't know. My mom tried it once and it didn't last to long. I have read books on how to meditate and how to do it the right way. I tried it but it didn't work for long. So good luck if you decided to meditate.

Challenge of the day: Meditate for one hour and write about how you felt afterwards
Question of the day: How long can you meditate?

Believe in yourself and each other

When it comes to believing in yourself and each other it can be hard because a lot depends on how you handle things in life. When you tell yourself that you can do it on your own you start to think it. A lot of people have this problem and I am one of them. But when it comes to believing in each other that can be like pushing a mountain with one hand. As a couple it is important to make sure that both of you are comfortable with each other and with the situation. If you can sit down and talk about what is bothering the of you without getting into a big fight then that means you have accomplished something big in the relationship. If you keep telling yourself that you can change a little thing with yourself then you accomplished something big within your own life. How hard is it really to make a small change in your life? I mean doesn't every one at least try? Well for some people it can be hard but for others it's easy. I am trying to make a small change but taking care of my skin more and my health. I never knew how it would feel to make this small change but now I see that it can be done with a little reminder and help. My boyfriend and I have come to realize that when we believe in each other we become more at ease with what we are doing in our lives. So how can people like he and i make sure we stay on this path of small change? We keep telling ourselves that we can do it. So keep up the small change craze and help those you love with the small change as well.

Challenge of the day: Make a list of small changes you want to make and follow them
Question of the day: Do you think small changes are possible?

Dancing

So we all think that we are good dancers and I'm sure that's true but if you think about we are good dancers in our own minds. When I dance all I do is jump around and get dizzy. Or I almost fall of the bed because I'm dancing to a song I like. So really it is fun but painful because you can hit a hall or step on some one's foot by mistake. None of my guy friends that I used to talk to in High School danced because it wasn't cool to them. Well that's fine with me but I still had a great time. Dancing is a way to let loose and have fun and not think about your crazy day at work or at home.The stress just seems to melt away from you. So the argument could also be said that it can help you release stress from every day life. When you dance you feel like the world is not there because afterwards you feel some what better until a new song comes on. When I dance to make sure it's to songs that I like and I want to make sure I can feel better afterwards. Weddings are fun because them every one thinks that they can dance after a few drinks. That's why when I get married my dance party is going to be at  my in-laws. That way no one can leave drunk. Dancing should never be done on the stairs or a wet floor because you can hurt yourself. I knew some one who did that. So dance people have fun but be smart about it at the same time.

Challenge of the day: Make a list of songs you like and just dance
Question of the day: How many songs do you like?

How to handle friends

Friends are a part of life that never gets easy. They have their options and they like to speak them. I have found that if you have a friend who doesn't like your boyfriend or your other friend then you some how deal with it in  your own way. So how do you deal with the back and forth between friends? You back out slowly and carefully. I have tried to handle friends with a scene of I don't know how to say it but I have told my friends to handle it in a mature way not like children. How is that that some times you are the adult trying to make peace with everything. When is it time to give up on helping them make peace with the ones they hate? I have told my friends that they have to handle their problems in a mature way and leave their friends out of their problems. If you have a problem go to your mom or dad or both. If you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend go to them. Just handle it in your own way. It can be hard to tell them how you feel because they won't like it but that's OK because that's how you feel. I had to do that and both of  my friends didn't like it. Oh well is what I have to say. You h ave to be able to know when to step back and do you. Friends come and go but family is always there to have your back. I never thought it would come down to just being me and boyfriend but that's OK because he and I are trying to stay away from the drama and we are trying to become a good couple. So how do you tell your friends that you don't care? You tell them.

Challenge of the day: If you are going through a rough time with friends tell them how YOU feel.
Question of the day: Do you wish like you could scream all day when your friends bother you?

How to better your relationship

When you want to better your relationship you have to make sure that the both of you are ready to make that step together. You can't make the other person change because you say so that's not how it works. You have to work together as a team to make sure that both of you are on the same page. My boyfriend and I are going through the same problems that all couples go through. I make sure to remind him that if I didn't care I would have left him a long time ago. And I still tell him that if he keeps hurting me I will leave. Now this isn't a very good way to make him understand where I'm coming from but at the same time that is the only way I can get him to listen to what I have to say. I have always told my boyfriend to leave our friends out of our problems and this is true because if you think about it they could make it worse for the both of you. Rules need to be put in place once the relationship starts. If you have rules then the two of you can make it work and fix it. Here are some steps that might help you understand what I'm coming from.

1) Make a list of rules that the two of you can follow
2) Talk it out and leave friends out of it
3) Never say hurtful things it only makes it worse
4) Be honest with each other
5) Always say I love you and I'm sorry

I hope these steps can help you. If you both are starting to think about ending it try a couples workbook and see how that helps the two of you reconnect. Don't give up on it just yet.

Challenge of the day: Sit down with your boyfriend/girlfriend and just talk about general stuff
Question of the day: Do you think a relationship can be fixed?

Gossip

Gossip. Something that the world revolves around. We as humans need gossip like we need air. But when does it seem like gossip has become more important then our own needs and wants? I have found that gossip is like watching TV with your friends. In other words we crave it. We buy so many gossip magazines that we forget that we live in a world with more important issues. What is it going to take for people to understand that as a whole we need to change the world in a positive way then in a negative way? When I see a magazine with gossip on the front page it makes me want to gag. Who cares that this celebrity is doing or that one. Who cares? I want to change the world were gossip doesn't happen but that is just in fantasy land. I can and will admit that I can gossip but there is a time and a place for it and work is not one of them. Gossip hurts people's feelings and it can get them every upset. I don't talk to my friends because of this. I only talked to one friend today and I told her how I felt about this whole thing between her and her ex. My boyfriend and I just don't want to deal with it anymore. At the end of the day it just might cause you to lose some sleep over it. Plus some of it could be a complete lie. In that case you should and need to take a step back from it and tell yourself not to get involved at that point. Talking about it is only going to make it worse and some one could get mad over it. Since when was it OK to start making gossip more than it should be? Why can't we as a whole leave things alone? Why can't we just say enough is enough? Why drag things on for so long? I don't see any point in it at all. Do you? Should we take a break from gossip at all? Yes.

Challenge of the day: For one month don't buy any gossip magazines and don't gossip about other people.
Question of the day: Would you be willing to stop gossiping about people?

How to mend a broken heart

They say time heals all wounds but some how I find that hard to believe because when you get a broken heart you find that the only person you can trust is you. Sure you have family and friends but what do you do if no one wants to hear it? I say make something that expresses how you feel and hang it up somewhere for every one to see. I have read a self-help book just so I can fix my broken heart. Every one coupes with things differently. I have found that when you work on it yourself it can either be good or bad. I had help but in the end it took a long time to fix it. I'm not saying that you should listen to everyone what I'm saying is do the things you love to do without being questioned about it. Or go on a cruise for two weeks. Do something different. I went to Sea World here in Orlando, FL for the day and I felt a little bit better. But do what you want to do I'm just giving an example. A friend of mine called me one day and told me her problems and I told her that she had to move on because thinking about it wasn't good for her. I think that if you think about for more than a week then you need to find something that will make you forget about that bad thing. Your heart is important so take good care of it. Your health is important as well. Never put yourself or your heart through so much stress. A little stress is good but to much of it can be very bad for your health. So here are some steps to try to mend your broken heart.

1) Listen to the songs of the 80's you will be amazed. It works for me
2) Go on a trip for two weeks. You will feel better
3) Write a poem about how you feel
4) Dance on your bed to one song from The Who
5) Make a list of words that will make you feel better
6) Go out with friends after a long week at work

I hope some if not all of these things help.

Challenge of the day: Write these steps down and add more and just do them
Question of the day: How do you mend a broken heart?

Decorating

Decorating is something that can be good for people. I say that because some times we all need a change. It helps when you know what you want and how you want it. But it also helps if you know what your idea is and how you want it to look. Right now I'm in the process of trying to redecorate my boyfriend's room. Key word trying. I got one wall done and that's it. I think decorating is something that should clear the mind and help people tape into their creative side. I think decorating is a good way to express oneself. In life you have to be able to express yourself without feeling bad and that's why you have decorate yourself and where you live. I have always wanted to decorate my room the way I want to and I just might do that. I think decorating is a good way to be able to have fun with what you have in front of you.

Challenge of the day: Find a room a make your own
Question of the day: If you could redecorate something what would it be

Ex-boyfriends vs Ex-friends

OK so we have all been there the ex-boyfriend or ex-friend. What is a person to do when you are stuck in the middle and have to chose between the two? Well you do what any person who do don't chose. I know it sounds bad but if you think it about that's two less people you have to worry about in life. Like I used to tell my friends your health is what's important not their feelings. Sure it's OK to have feelings but where do they get you? Either into trouble or into a state of sadness. Not every one is going to like the decisions you make but it's your life not theirs. They have no right to tell you what to do. Yes, they can give you advice but it's up to you to take it or leave it. Either way some one is going to get their feelings hurt. And it's going to be yours. Having an ex-boyfriend is OK as long as he respects your personal space. And the same goes for the ex-friend. I think the only time it's OK to talk about them is when you have a journal. I keep all of my thoughts in it. I don't think it's fair to end a relationship just because some one doesn't chose between the people who care and the person you date. It shouldn't be that bad but it is. What I don't get is how some one looks at you with a straight face and tells you that you have to pick. In my case it was over the phone. But in the end he made that decision for me. So which is worse the ex-boyfriend or the ex-friend? I say both because you never know what they might say or do to you.

Challenge of the day: Write a letter to your ex-boyfriend and ex-friend and tell them how you feel without sending it. Just ripe it up into tiny pieces.

Question of the day: Do you have an ex-friend?

Start overs

Start overs I hear they are possible but can it be done? My friend has decided to start over with her life. She is now in a school with dorms and learning to become a nurse. I'm glad for her because she needed a start over. So I guess it is possible but you have to be willing to start over. Meaning you have to be able to decide either or not if you want to start over on something in your life. I have always wondered how it would feel to have that option of starting over. I guess I realized that when I met my boyfriend who I have been dating for 11 months. I have come to realize that I can start over with my love life. He has taught me that it is possible to start over with love. I often wondered what people want to start over with. Is it love? Work? What is it that makes people want to start over? I guess the only person that knows that is that person. I have read books where they teach you how to start over but can it happen? I guess it can. What do you think. Can you learn how to start over? And how long will it take you to start over again? I would love to learn how but I think it is possible to make that change on your own. Sure you can ask for help but at the end of the day can a book help you learn how to start over.

Challenge of the day: Make a list of things that you want to fix or start over on and see what happens when you do
Question of the day: Is it possible to start over on love?

How to love yourself

Loving yourself can sound weird but some how it can be possible. I have a hard time doing this because when I look at  myself in a mirror I don't see a pretty person. But it helps when you have some one who cares about your feelings. I am trying to tell myself that I do have worth. How can you do the same? Well it's easy. In my last blog I wrote down steps for you all to try and I will tell you to stick with it. So here are some more steps that you can try.

1) Tell yourself every day that you have worth
2) Don't give up on yourself or life
3) Go on a vacation just by yourself and have fun with it
4) Don't call yourself bad names
5) Always look at yourself in a good way

Now I know that these sound stupid but some how I think these might work. You just have to work on them everyday. It will be hard trust me I know but you can do it. I am still working on this and it can be hard because you will have days were you will feel bad about the way you look and then there will be days where you feel great. I'm trying to have more days that are great and that is the key to all of this. Have more great days. I hope that when you try to follow these steps you will see how much of a difference it will make.

Challenge of the day: Tell yourself that you can make yet another difference
Question of the day: How will you change the world?

Communication

I have found that in most relationships communication is or was never there in the beginning of said relationship. I think it is very important to have communication in a relationship because both of you need to be able to talk about things that are bothering you. It is or can be bad for the both of you in the end. Not all relationships are going to start out perfect. Sure some of them do but in the end something happens and it gets broken. If couples took the time to fix their relationships in a good way cheating and all this other stuff wouldn't be happening. It's all about trust and communication. My boyfriend and I have both decided that we need to talk about what is bothering us. Sure I'm the one doing most of the talking because his ex never did any of this with him. I'm trying to show him that it's OK to talk about what is on your mind. Sure he and I have our ups and downs what couple doesn't but he and I are getting to the point where we are losing that communication and we might get a workbook that will help us out with our relationship. He and I have tried everything but we keep forgetting the most important thing. Communication. Like my grandmother says if you don't use it you lose it. And that is so true. He and I aren't perfect but we are trying to fix it as a team. Sure you could go see a couple's counselor but that would cost a lot of money. Here are some easy steps for you and your partner.

1) Talk about your feelings when you are upset
2) Listen to what the other person has to say before you interrupt.
3) Talk don't yell
4) Go into separate rooms then come out and talk it out.
5)Never go to bed angry
6) Be loving to the other person
and the last one is.......
7) ALWAYS SAY YOUR SORRY!!!

I hope these help all of you out.

Challenge of the day: Find a workbook that the two of you can do and stick to it.
Question of the day: How important is communication to you?

Taking care of one's self

I have found that if you take care of yourself you will feel better about yourself. I have been trying to take care of myself by washing my face and making sure that my skin is healthy as well. I know its not easy to  do that all the time but I'm trying to make sure that I'm some what healthy. I used to look in the mirror and tell myself that I look horrible and I would always put myself down. And that wasn't good no one should do that to themselves. I have found that if you keep telling yourself you can do it then you will find more confidence. And that is the key to being happy and taking care of yourself. All you have to do is make a list of words that mean something to you and print them. The next step is to put that list some where, where you can see it every morning and repeat those words to yourself. Then you will start to believe them and you will feel better. That was one way another way is to go out after work every night and walk around the block and you will feel some what better with that. But the thing with that is you have to do it every night. Drink more water! Write down steps that are easy for you to do and then just do them. I have a list and I will share it with you.

1) Tell myself that I am pretty
2) Write in my journal every night
3) Talk about what I'm feeling with my boyfriend
4)  Eat more healthy foods (or at least try to)
5) Take better care of my skin

Well that's my list. I might add more. If you make a list then you can take one more step into taking care of yourself. Not every one takes good care of themselves.

Challenge of the day: Make a list of things you can do to take better care of yourself and make a list of words that mean something to you.
Question of the day: Do you think it's important to take care of yourself?

What in the world?!

We all  have those moments where you say to ourselves what in the world. Well I can tell you I have had a moment like that. You see a friend of mine was going through a rough time with her ex. Well what happened was they broke up and then started going back out. The reason why they broke up in the first place was because he cheated on her. Now you would think that would be a good reason to stay away from him right? WRONG!!!!! Anyway they started going back out. And once again there were problems from the start. They would always fight over the dumbest thing ever. So the breaking point was when she shared a photo of him over Facebook. Well he didn't like that at all. So he got mad at her and started cursing her out over Facebook. Well she didn't like that. Sadly I was the one she called and she told me about it. Well you would think if some one told you not to call them for a week you would do it because you don't know if they are joking or not. Well that happened as well. Now they aren't speaking and neither are the other two people she was friends with. So basically four people aren't speaking to each other. This is what I told a friend of mine to tell my friend April's ex. "Grow up act like an adult. Facebook should never be used to start or end a fight. What happens between the two of you should stay that way. Never bring other people into it." I said some other things but I can't remember. Now if you are like me you would say the same thing. So I told April the same thing and she wasn't happy about it. So I told her that's how my boyfriend and I feel about all of this. Anyway needless to stay she might be mad at me. Do I care? Not really because I'm trying to take care of myself and I'm trying to help my family and the same thing goes for my boyfriend. Now what would you have done in this situation? You probably would have done the same thing. So thank you all for being so understanding to this story.

Challenge of the day: Was there a time when you had to stop something bad from happening?
Question of the day: If you could end a fight right now how would you handle it like an adult?

Pictures

Like the saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words. And that is true but a picture can also bring some good and some bad memories to it. I had photos of my ex from high school and I threw them out because I didn't want to be reminded of the pain I went through with him. But at the same time I have photos of when I was growing up. I look at those and I see happy times. Each photo is worth something. I know there are some of you who look at a photo and say "what was I thinking wearing that?" Trust me I have thought the same thing. I will look at a photo of myself and go what was I thinking or I look fat. Each person says that all the time. But when we show other people they tell us how we look good in that photo. I think it is important to remember that when we take that photo that same photo is telling us how much we had at the time when it was taken. So really we shouldn't have to be concerned how we looked at the time. When we look at a family photo we see how much we have changed over the years. I think it is important to have a family photo taken because you will want to be able to look back on that photo and see how much your kids have grown. I'm still hoping that my boyfriend's family gets a new family photo taken because I know I will be apart of that special day. I think photos should be kept as a reminder that life is some thing to remember people by. Because you never know when you might want to take a walk down memory lane.

Challenge of the day: Gather as many photos as you can and put them all on a poster board and laminate it. As a reminder of life.

Question of the day: What moment in life would you capture with a camera?

Music

Music has a way to make people feel good about their day. I started listening to classic rock when I was in middle school and to this day I still listen to it. I am 23 years old and I have seen Styx twice, REO Speedwagon twice, Night Ranger twice, Foreigner, and Journey. And my list is growing still. I think people who listen to music have a huge list of favorite songs that they like. I think I have two page list of favorite songs. Every time I hear a song that i like I have to sing along with it. Like right now I'm singing to a song that I like. I think music is the key to life. If every one just took the time to listen to their favorite songs then they will have a good day. This morning I listened to The Who Baba O'Riley and I felt better the rest of the morning. Music makes the difference in lives. If there were no sad songs then people wouldn't be able to cry to them. If there were no love songs when what would couples slow dance too? Music is the bridge that brings people together. We all need to take time to listen to our own play list every day. On the way home from any where and away from home. When I listen to my favorite song I jump on my bed and dance to it until the song is over. Then I feel so much better about day. I think even the bad singers should sing along with their favorite songs. I think it is so amazing how a song can make some one feel bad or better about something. I love music. It has such a presence in life. I want to dance the night away to my favorite song until I can't dance any more. I bet it does the same for you.

Challenge of the day: Listen to your favorite songs and dance to them for no reason
Question of the day: What is your favorite song and why?